I am here immersed in my thoughts and in this hectic day, between work and projects, the light bulb has turned on, I am warming up again.
Already in these days, I was not able to define what was really happening to me but, by chance reading a page of my diary, I found the right word “warm-up”.
Reading those words of a different me, a few days after my arrival in Mexico now three years ago, made me understand that I am reliving the same emotions and that this time I am making this change in a different way, more aware, more mature and more honest with myself.
Where it all began
A few years ago, after months of total darkness and emptiness, I realized that I needed to go back to being a warm person, who wants to warm up others but at the same time to be warmed up. I understand that a sincere hug from a friend is much more than a love you wrote in a message or said through gritted teeth at a particular moment.
You know for me it is not easy, let’s say that I have never been affectionate, but, in that month before leaving, and then immediately after, I understood how nice it is to get in touch with people so much without being afraid to face them and to show who you are really.
Over the years I have always been afraid of opening myself up to others, I have been burned many times in friendship, I always give a lot to then receive nothing and I have recently understood that it is not the fault of others as I have always thought but mine …
Why give so much immediately when you can give so much more over time … as I say for work, everything must be done one step at a time and with feeling when you feel like it and you are sure it is the right time!
Well, trust me, for me this is far from simple, a few years ago I approached with a soft step to everything that is the world of personal growth, not yet aware of how much I felt this world close to me, I did not understand how difficult it looked within and remain constant in contact with yourself.
This has been seen because in recent years I had built a wall around myself towards people who were not closely related to my family who I trusted and who I knew would never harm me.
What has changed?
In recent times, however, I have been slowly trying to crumble brick by brick, it is a difficult thing, sometimes painful but, which is really doing me a lot of good.
I want to go out again, I have started creating habits and a routine that allows me to do whatever I prefer, I have started writing again, which I love, and have done my job, I have started thinking about myself again, I want to travel, to meet new people, to discover, to leave Andrea the tourist at home and finally let Andrea the traveler leaves.
Crumbling bricks is often difficult, some come down in an instant, while others have been built with so much perseverance and conviction that the effort to remove and tear them down is really felt.
But what about my journey towards the true knowledge of myself has just begun and even if the arrival seems so far away, as I often say, life like everything is a great ladder and, step by step, one climbs higher and higher. tall.
I think I will never get to the top because the desire to always discover something more is getting too big, so when you feel sad, down in the dumps, and maybe in some hopeless moments don’t give up, the right time to change your life comes always, if you really feel like doing it.
Trust yourself and above all love yourself, if you don’t love yourself climbing all the stairs will be much more difficult.
